ivan8989

i cant sleep...
maybe its cos i've been sleeping a little too late over the past few days..
thats why i'm having trouble sleeping on sunday night...
this is the start of monday blues..

anyway, i just got off the phone with my sayang...
and i feel like if i dont type this out and get it off my mind,
then i wont be able to sleep the entire night.
and hopefully he'll see it soon...
and understand where i.m coming from...
so here goes..

---------------------

as we grow older, we grow into somebody...
this person may or may not be the ideal person that we want to be...
it all depends on the circumstances that surround us.

and as we grow, we become more responsible...
responsible for the things we do,
responsible for the things we say,
responsible for the people around us &
responsible for the feelings of the person we love...

many a times, we just want to eat drink and be merry.
to be with the ones we love and not have any worries.
but more often than not, we cannot simply do so.
most people simply do not have that luxury of limitless resource.
that is why we have to work.
to earn money
to make our lives better.
to be with the ones we love.

everyone has 24 hours a day.
1440 minutes
86400 seconds.
8 hours is spent on sleep..
for we cannot make do without.
16 hours is spent awake and this amount of time has to be shared.
for work,
for school,
for traveling,
and for the one we care so dearly...

in the Singaporean context,
each person spends an average of 10- 12 hours on work each day...
this includes traveling to and from work,
the actual work process and maybe meals.

that leaves us with 4-6 hours to shower, maybe study and of course to spend it on you.
the most important person in my life now.

however,
this may not be always the case.
for my duties at work requires my extra attention.
in exchange for my time, i get paid.
this way,
i spend more time at work,
earn more money
and spend less time with you.

i understand how this work arrangement robs time from us.
and i understand how it makes you feel.
that i'm spending more and more time on everything else except you
but i so shamelessly implore you to understand and to bear with me.
because by doing so, we have a chance..
a chance to build a better, more secure future...
a chance to live better..

i dont know how else i can put this more plainly to you...
but i know you are definitely intellectual enough to understand where i am coming from...

i wont try and paint this wonderful ending because i want to leave you with something to think about and to digest what you've just read...
so sayang, please...
*hugs*

the past 2 days has been immensely warm...
sunday and monday...
its making my mood stink...

but somehow the weather was good on saturday...
the night part especially...
cos i remember rushing someone to quickly shower so we can cuddle and sleep...
omg im actually smiling typing this part out...
:)))

anyway i'm like backing up my siri through icloud now...
i hope it works...

had a quarrel with my siblings the moment i came home but i guess its quite normal...
my mum nagged at me after that.. like again.
but i guess i really have to grow up and start behaving like a role model for them...

i see myself staying home more often this week in preparation for spring cleaning...
i have to start by backing my wardrobe which is in a mess and somehow i am procrastinating...
bad.

i had this sudden urge to make a really nice terrarium...
but i have no idea what to make and the theme...
hmm...

spent the whole day with him again...
but today its different..

first we made breakfast together...
that check off one item we've promise to do together...
we made hotcakes with strawberries and cheese sausages and sunny side up...
was ok except for the egg yolk that broke during the transfer from pan to plate
and the extra thick pancake that i poured too much mix...
other than that everything was quite nice...
but too bad we din was the dishes...

then we went upstairs to chill out for abit...
massage...
shower then went out to see pets...
first pasir ris pet farm,
then vivo city pet safari...
at first wanted hamsters but end up deciding against it...
i rather get a cat..
a ragdoll cat... pure white one

then gui ling gao dessert...
and dinner at holland village...
and a trip to namly drive...
walked around the estate and saw some really big impressive house...
tsk tsk..
makes me feel as though i'm living with the beggars...
but,
we talked about spending lesser so we can live in those big houses someday...
okay...
at least its a good start...

its almost like this surreal feeling that we are in the year 2012..
like how the vampire venom works..
simmering at first,
then ever so slowly increasing the heat...
all of a sudden the tempo increases exponentially,
pushing towards the final moment...
and when the moment finally arrives, it pushes you off the cliff, going into freefall...
-----

have you ever rouse from your sleep in the early hours of the morning
to find yourself beside this really beautiful creature lying next to you?

smooth flawless skin, long eyelashes, pink tout lips...
:))

anyway the title, Aphrodite, is used cos of the scallop porridge i'm having for dinner...
not cos i'm horny or anything...
just in case u are thinking cos Aphrodite is like goddess of love and fertility and all...

this week has been a pretty good week for me....
cos 1338A has finally gotten some sort of progress...
excavation, compaction, lean concreting, formwork and rebar and everything all in a week..
i'm happy now..
for those who dont understand wtf i just typed its okay cos its all engineering terms...

its slowly approaching the end of the year...
like the festive season is here again!!
and i cant wait to celebrate the end of the work year...
and hopefully get a fat bonus..
but no im not gonna spend it all...
promised myself to save the money...

matthew was asking me about bday celebrations...
hmmm...
i still haven decided what i want...
maybe on the 9th i take 1 day leave, then the friday i take another day leave to celebrate...
then maybe save the $ to go on holiday in may?
how does phuket sound?
=D

anyway i'm not really inspired to write alot today...
everything is in bits and pieces... blahh...

fuck la... my threadless tshirts came and they are like wayyyyy too big....
how u want me to wear them? wah lao...
i thought of giving them to mahir immediately...
i think only he can make them look good...
cos only he has the mass to fill up the tshirts...

okay i just read the return page of the shipment...
hmmmmm...

got a lil sick a couple of days ago...
fever and sore throat and everything...
urgh.. not the best experience...
thank god for gary who sent me to the doctor...
not cheap though!
and i gotta be extra careful with my expenditure this month...
not gonna explain.. just a mental note to self.

anyway, this entry isnt gonna be the usual update of what happened during the past week...
but more of double lives..
somewhat like dr jekyll and Mr hyde or Oscar wilde's Dorian Gray...
to outsiders, double lives may seem like exciting...
one moment you're this person,
the next moment you simply shed that identity and assume another...
thrilling isnt it?
but, Is it always the case?

so its been sometime since i last wrote anything...
i'm not even sure if anyone remembers this place...
oh well...
all the better in that case because i can write what ever i need to and not worry about anyone reading it...
:)
(actually now i'm not so sure since i just gave gary the link)
hmmm

anyway this week zipped past relatively quickly...
started getting things to do at work...
i'm glad for it though...
but somehow i need to start thinking of how i'm gonna keep my boots when 1338 starts...
i'm excited about 1338 though...
the thought about ur own site office, ur own sites to run and ur responsibilities...
seems like fun doesnt it?

and so i met bjorn once and gary twice this week...
friday night for dinner, movie and stay over...
oh and did i mention we went to buy wine from the supermarket in town?
like a dozen bottles... omg have nv bought so much wine in 1 shot before..

stayed over both friday and saturday night...
its starting to become like my own bed already huh?
mummy is making noise but i aint....

and on friday i finally managed to get my hands on the new iphone 4s...
like wheeee!!!
and siri works! just that she's not designed to work in singapore...
**pouts**

when i was coming home today, it was so so warm...
like the sun couldnt wait to tear up the earth melt everything...
tml is monday again... and i'm already looking forward to my weekend...

listening to one gary sing, thinking about the other gary...
what a thing to do huh...
anyway its this song...
called  新不了情 by 曹格...
its super nice...
i cant seem to stop listening to it....
anyway work has been very boring...
utter waste of time...
i dont see what i can learn or do at lta...
like i feel im meant for greater things...
haiz... i dunno... i just cant wait to get out of bishan, have my own site office and get on with 1338...
hopefully with less of eddy....
been spending less time with bjorn these 2 weeks and alot more time with gary...
i'm not sure if that is a good sign...
but right now at this point of time i do like the both of them pretty much...
i am someone who needs some attention...
and if i cant get what i wan from you, i'd simply turn to the other...

so this is my now...
fresh out of the army, found a job immediately and here i am...
maybe not liking my job very much....
thats only because i dun like sweating in my civilian clothes...
how silly is that?

i know for sure i can do a very good job no matter where i go,
just as long as i like it, i can do a wonderful job...

and i dont mind working in the sun and sweating like a pig...
i haven been there done that, waddle through piles and piles of shit...
but nothing stopped me...
but i cannot sweat in my civillian clothes..
WTF...

i need to do something about it..
and fast...